Get up and walk

We all have a past. Some worst than others. The bible says “We all sin and fall short,” (Romans 3:23) and we all have. As we get older we begin to may be move on from our pasts physically, and let that former sin go. But in some way people are still attached. Still bound and, and still dictated by what they went through. In different ways it begins to show. In relationships, how we speak to others and handle situations. We want so bad to heal and move on, but many times we don’t know where to start. And its okay to not be okay. The good news is, there is hope, and a God who is able and bigger than what it is your going through.

Blame is put on others for our hurt, when in reality it is our responsibility to heal. Healing takes time, and I know this first hand. I have had my fair share of hurt and when God began to heal and work through me it was PAINFUL! But healing couldn’t have begun until I gave God permission and complete surrenderance to do so.

I have had to deal with my own hurt and healing. Knowing God had a plan and a purpose for me, I also knew He was telling me specific things that had to be dealt with and brought to the light first , before walking in that purpose. From there came months of pruning,crying healing, transformation and renewal. Just like the conversation Jesus had with the invalid man, Jesus had with me. “Do you want to get well?” Yes! I did! “Then get up and walk!”

In John 5 there was a man laying near a pool is Bethseda who had been sick for 38 years waiting for his turn for healing. Jesus seen this man and asked him, Do you want to get well?” The man told Him he couldn’t because no one has helped him. Jesus then told the man, “Get up and walk”.

The Invalid man felt completely helpless and probably hopeless. Much like we do. We feel as though there is no way out, especially with emotional and mental hurt. We may also feel like our healing is someone else’s responsibility. Many times we don’t know where to start even if we are ready to begin the healing process. So we stay in this bubble of pain. God’s desire is not for us to live a life of hurt, guilt, or shame. He wants to give us a life we have never imagined for our self. The only problem is, He wants us to heal first. Baggage can’t come.

While God is not a God who would force Himself on us, He does however, want us, His children, to seek Him for help, and all the while He IS waiting for us to invite Him into to our deepest hurts so He can then begin to minister to it. By no means is it easy, but it is absolutely worth it! I get it, there is comfort in the past and how we feel. Being afraid of the unknown is enough to paralyze us and keep us in bondage, but the day Jesus was nailed to the cross was the same day He scorned your shame, and your guilt, and your hurt. (Hebrews 12:2)

We have to have faith and trust God will do what He says He will. Trust that God put those situations in your life for a reason. He never wastes a hurt. Your depression, addiction, past abortion, abuse and future healing is a testimony for someone else to get through what they are dealing with. So really, your healing may have someone elses name on it. God will use it. My prayer for you all reading this is that you will take that step of faith and be obedient to what God is telling you to do. Humbly get quiet before the Lord, you may just hear Him tell you “Get up, and walk!”

Love and Blessings.

Vanessa

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Love, God

Our days are jam packed. When we rise in the morning we hit the ground running, and are most likely not stopping until we lay in our beds at night ready to end the day. I know for a fact I am not only speaking for myself. In our days, we are also doing things for others. If you’re anything like me, most of your day is like that. From doing what our bosses tell us to do, to helping our friends and family. Does it ever stop? Recently, I have felt more and more like this. Normally I am all for extending a helping hand, giving that ride, helping that single mom with childcare, lending money, or just being a listening ear. We strive to give “With a cheerful heart” 2 Corinthians 9:7, but even the most cheerful givers loose their strive, and that is what happened to me.

I most recently went through a season of doing. Every weekend I was doing something, for my children, family, or friends. SN: Doesn’t it seem like when you start to do things for others they never let up,or someone else catches wind and starts to ask also? Anyway, this was my situation. By nature I am a giver, and Jesus calls us to be givers and servants. That’s what I was doing. But it began to be too much and my servants heart turned into a burden. I began to get exhausted, and irritated. I wondered and asked God, why was He using me to do so much for others when I feel like I am being looked over, used, and unappreciated. Not only that I was in need myself, and who was coming to my aide…. Selfish, I know. But I was over it! Earlier that same week I had read a devotional that stated, ” I see you with a steady eye”, this sentence jumped out at me, but I didn’t really think much of it. My prayers that night were more of a cry out to God. All I could get out with tears in my eyes was, “God, I need to know that you see me!”

That next day was a normal day of getting the kids ready for school and going off to work. Mid-day I received a card in an envelope in the mailbox where I worked, along with some money in it the card read:

“Much more often than you know, you’re thought about warmly, cared about always, and wished every good thing.

Love, God 

Tears. filled. my. eyes! And for a moment I was completely taken aback. Never mind the money that was in the card, but God spoke to me! The one who earlier in that same week let me know through a devotional that He sees with a “steady eye,” has now answered a specific prayer that has to do with Him seeing me! All I could do was thank Him over and over again while still in shock. But at the same time that was confirmation. Everything I go through, every favor I do, every exhausting task I take on, God sees me. Although I feel overlooked here in the world, His steady eye is forever on me. His strength is given, and I am restored when I feel weak.

God is so faithful and He always shows up when we need Him the most. We just have to have the faith that He will. We tend to feel so overlooked and pushed to the brink in our daily lives, we forget there is always our loving Heavenly Father who see us, and who loves us so unconditionally. My prayer for you all is to never forget you are now and forever the apple of God’s eye. Yes, we may be the one doing all the favors, and the one who feels overlooked, but God is looking down at His beloved with love in His eyes.

Love and blessings,

Vanessa

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Give Thanks

Enter into His gates with Thanksgiving; give thanks to Him and praise His name” -Psalm 100:4

Normally when November 1st hits I join in the 30 days of thanks challenge. This year I just didn’t feel led. Years past my challenge would consist of worldly things that I was  grateful and thankful for. But God convicted my heart and helped me really put things into perspective. So today on Thanksgiving I give thanks to my creator.

Not only is God my Lord and Savior of my eternity, He has been just that here on earth. When we give our lives to Christ we look back at the mess we were before. What we’ve been delivered from, healed from, and saved from. We could not have done that on our own. God is so faithful to rescue us in the midst of our sin, and so relentless to keep trying when trying when we push Him to the side to stay in that sin. All the while he waits for us with open arms.

God is so good; even in the bad in our lives. The Bible says,

Give thanks IN ALL circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” -1 Thessalonians 5:18

In all things, and circumstances we should give thanks. God gives so much of who he is, the least I can do is be thankful and grateful for Him and the path he put me for for His will for me. He is worthy of that! Today I pray you all join me in thanking God for all He has done for us, starting at the cross. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Love and Blessings,

Vanessa 💜

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Laugh without Fear

This is something I’ve had to truly get from my mind to my heart. We sing the hymn, and say this to ourselves over and over but do we really believe it?

Things happen in our lives, sometimes not so good things. People get sick, family members pass away, we lose our jobs, marriages fall apart and so on. Life happens. As I have stated before in previous posts I have experienced loss and grief. And from loss and greif came anxiety and fear. I would have anxiety about the fact of not knowing what was going to happen next in life with my kids or myself. Some days it would be all I thought about. The worst case scenario played out in my mind. I was gripped with fear. The enemy was successful at playing these things over and over in my mind. He knew exactly what would throw me off track.

One morning at church a song was sang, it was about a man who ultimately ended up losing everything; his business, finances,his family, everything. And he still managed to say, “It is Well.” How??? This song was sang so beautifully that morning and I broke emotionally. God was speaking to me in that moment. I have heard that song many times before, but that morning the Holy Spirit knew what I needed. For so long I have been thinking about “what if’s” in my life and it wasn’t doing me any good. That morning I came to a point where I had to say whatever my lot in life, It is Well. I came to a point of complete trust and surendering of those feelings and thoughts to the Lord. There at the alter is where I left anxiety and fear, and picked up the peace of God!

I am leaving with you a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid” -John 14:27

Are these things hard to think about? Yes! Death, financial struggle, divorce, a bad diagnosis, all of things are unthinkable, but I know I have a God who is bigger than all of this! Waking up worrying everyday is not how I wanted to live my life. And it didn’t add another moment to it. John 14 states that God has left a gift for us and that is His peace. Not only that, we have to remember God is the creator of ALL things, including you and me. He put your life in motion. He formed you in your mother womb. So all that you go through (even the negative) is not a surprise to him. As we go through the bad, God has already put into motion what will get you through and how it will happen. We just have to be humble enough to express these feelings, let Him take it, and leave it in His hands. God does not desire for us to live in this emotional bondage. We can not be used by Him if we bare these feelings. We know fear is a liar and both the spirit fear and anxiety have to bow in Jesus name!

I pray all who read this received something. I pray you all remember and recognize that God has not given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7. Repeat this scripture when anxiety or fear arise, because  Bible tells us when we pray God’s word, the enemy will flee. So laugh without fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25) God is already there. Praying for all of you!

 

Love and Blessings,

Vanessa

 

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Only the beginning

Hi everyone! I am so excited to be starting this blog, or ministry, if you will, with you all. This blog has definitely been a long time coming, and I would love to share the story with you as just a little ice breaker. So please stay and join me on this journey.

Back in 2015 I went through something I didn’t think I would ever have to go through, I lost not only the person who I loved dearly, but the father of my children; so suddenly at the age of 30. It rocked me. Leading up to this I had gone to church very randomly and was not serious about it at all. So when this happened life and death became very real, and I knew God had called me to get into church full time! I thought, “okay, I will go to church on Sundays, maybe a bible study here and there and that would be it.” Boy was I wrong!

Victor passing was a push to get into church. About a year into it God really began to work in my life. “Friends” were being distanced, and the things I enjoyed doing were not fun anymore, life became so foreign to me. I went through a process of complete isolation and questioned a lot. God had made it very apparent to me that this season of my life was going to be just He and I. In this season He spoke a great deal.

At the end of 2016 one day I had left a little early for work. I was too early so I went into a store to look around and  waste time. I was hitting every aisle, and then in front of some journals God told me to Stop! Okay? As soon as I grabbed it I paid and walked out. Still having time to waste I went back to my car and started writing. The first sentence I wrote down was, “God told me to get this journal and start writing.” And that’s exactly what I did. Every pain, burden, trial, emotionally, hurtful, dysfunctional, messy, ugly so on and so on, situation I have gone through in life I needed to write down. Everything I have gone through and everything I will go through had to be put on paper, according to God. So that’s what I did and that’s what I have been doing since then. And it all has brought me to this moment.

God has a perfect plan and purpose for us all. “For know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future” -Jeremiah 29:11This is my plan and purpose. Through this blog I want to share my testimonies and stories of how great God has been in my life. Through the good and the bad. I want someone out there to know despite hardships God is still for them and there is hope!Even in your worst situations God loves you! For the single man or woman, the single parent, the one struggling with emotional trauma and or illness, anyone and  with any struggle there is hope and His name is Jesus Christ. No matter the depths God can still pull you and you out, and not only that, USE YOU! My hardships did not go away over night. There was about a year and a half of pruning, healing, renewing of the mind, humbling moments, realizing that what I have been doing is not working, and true surrendering to Christ. I pray this blog will help and touch all who need it. I pray for seeds of God’s Holy Spirit to touch all who desire to know Him. I hope all of you stick around and enjoy!

Love and Blessings,

Vanessa

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